7. Financial Abuse: What You Need To Know

In this section:

What Is Financial Abuse Who Is Involved Indicators Giving & Receiving Help Where To Get Help
 

7.1 What Is Financial Abuse
Joan has a grandson that she cares about and wants to see do well in life. Greg has always asked for money occasionally, but now it is starting to become a frequent request. When she says no to Greg he gets angry, sometimes he yells, tells her she is mean, or walks out and slams the door behind him. Joan hates to see Greg upset and feels the only way to avoid this, is by giving him what he has asked for. It is getting to the point where she really feels she has no option but to fulfil Greg’s requests – especially since he stole money from her purse the one time she did turn him down. Joan realizes this is becoming a problem but feels too vulnerable and alone to talk to someone.   Click to listen highlighted text! Joan has a grandson that she cares about and wants to see do well in life. Greg has always asked for money occasionally, but now it is starting to become a frequent request. When she says no to Greg he gets angry, sometimes he yells, tells her she is mean, or walks out and slams the door behind him. Joan hates to see Greg upset and feels the only way to avoid this, is by giving him what he has asked for. It is getting to the point where she really feels she has no option but to fulfil Greg’s requests – especially since he stole money from her purse the one time she did turn him down. Joan realizes this is becoming a problem but feels too vulnerable and alone to talk to someone.

Like Joan, many seniors find themselves in a situation where they are being taken advantage of for their money or assets. Nobody likes to think of themselves as a victim of any type of abuse or crime, and therefore we often brush it off, minimize it’s severity or try to hide that it is happening.   Click to listen highlighted text! Like Joan, many seniors find themselves in a situation where they are being taken advantage of for their money or assets. Nobody likes to think of themselves as a victim of any type of abuse or crime, and therefore we often brush it off, minimize it’s severity or try to hide that it is happening.

In Joan’s case this may sound like:

• “Greg doesn’t ask for money very often, it’s the least I can do to help him out.”
• “He doesn’t really get that upset, I know he would never hurt me.”
• “He is just going through a tough time; things will get better for him.”
• “I give money to all my grandchildren, he is no different.”
• “If his parents found out this was happening, they’d likely overreact and cause him trouble.”   Click to listen highlighted text! In Joan’s case this may sound like: “Greg doesn’t ask for money very often, it’s the least I can do to help him out.” “He doesn’t really get that upset, I know he would never hurt me.” “He is just going through a tough time; things will get better for him.” “I give money to all my grandchildren, he is no different.” “If his parents found out this was happening, they’d likely overreact and cause him trouble.”

Financial abuse is one of the most common forms of abuse reported. Financial abuse is the illegal or unauthorized use of someone else’s money or property. It includes pressuring someone for money or property.   Click to listen highlighted text! Financial abuse is one of the most common forms of abuse reported. Financial abuse is the illegal or unauthorized use of someone else’s money or property. It includes pressuring someone for money or property.

Some types of financial abuse are very clear- such as theft or fraud, while others are harder to put a name to. This may include things like pressuring you, or tricking you into giving away your money or possessions.   Click to listen highlighted text! Some types of financial abuse are very clear- such as theft or fraud, while others are harder to put a name to. This may include things like pressuring you, or tricking you into giving away your money or possessions.

Financial abuse can happen to anyone and some people do not even realize that they are being financially abused. This can be the case if you have given someone access to your bank accounts or you need assistance with banking. Sometimes is can be very difficult to determine if the situation you are in is actually an abusive one. Listen to you gut! If you don’t feel good about it, chances are it is not right!   Click to listen highlighted text! Financial abuse can happen to anyone and some people do not even realize that they are being financially abused. This can be the case if you have given someone access to your bank accounts or you need assistance with banking. Sometimes is can be very difficult to determine if the situation you are in is actually an abusive one. Listen to you gut! If you don’t feel good about it, chances are it is not right!

Learn more about: What Does Financial Abuse Look Like?

7.2 Who Is Involved
Rosemary has recently become a widow and has been feeling down and lonely. Her neighbour John has started visiting and offering to help her out.  John realizes Rosemary cannot drive so he offers to go buy her groceries. Rosemary gives him her bank card and PIN so that she doesn’t need to worry about making arrangements to pay him back. John goes the grocery store to help Rosemary out but also takes out extra money for himself without her permission or her being aware of the situation. He figures it’s the least he deserves for going out of his way to help her. And it’s not like she will find out.   Click to listen highlighted text! Rosemary has recently become a widow and has been feeling down and lonely. Her neighbour John has started visiting and offering to help her out.  John realizes Rosemary cannot drive so he offers to go buy her groceries. Rosemary gives him her bank card and PIN so that she doesn’t need to worry about making arrangements to pay him back. John goes the grocery store to help Rosemary out but also takes out extra money for himself without her permission or her being aware of the situation. He figures it’s the least he deserves for going out of his way to help her. And it’s not like she will find out.

The person committing the financial abuse (the perpetrator or abuser) can be anyone. They can be a stranger who befriends you, a family member whom you love very much, a close friend, and also professionals or caregivers hired to help.   Click to listen highlighted text! The person committing the financial abuse (the perpetrator or abuser) can be anyone. They can be a stranger who befriends you, a family member whom you love very much, a close friend, and also professionals or caregivers hired to help.

An abuser is most likely a person who has a close connection to you. Often, they use their connection to take advantage of you and force you to do what they want. Other times, it is a crime of opportunity and desperation. They need money for some reason or another, and feel like they can get away with it. This is not your fault! There may be many reasons behind their actions, and regardless of the reason, financial abuse under any circumstance is not only wrong, it is also a crime!   Click to listen highlighted text! An abuser is most likely a person who has a close connection to you. Often, they use their connection to take advantage of you and force you to do what they want. Other times, it is a crime of opportunity and desperation. They need money for some reason or another, and feel like they can get away with it. This is not your fault! There may be many reasons behind their actions, and regardless of the reason, financial abuse under any circumstance is not only wrong, it is also a crime!

Learn more about: Who Are Perpetrators?

7.3 Indicators
Financial abuse can be hard to identify. Joan used to feel great about giving her grandson Greg money, but now it is not optional. Is she being pressured and forced to help him out, or is she still giving him money at her own will?   Click to listen highlighted text! Financial abuse can be hard to identify. Joan used to feel great about giving her grandson Greg money, but now it is not optional. Is she being pressured and forced to help him out, or is she still giving him money at her own will?

Financial abuse is usually not one single scenario; it is more of a pattern of scenarios that lead to financial abuse.  It may be happening to you, and you may not be aware. It may be happening to a friend, and they may not be aware. Or you may be like Joan, who is not quite sure anymore.   Click to listen highlighted text! Financial abuse is usually not one single scenario; it is more of a pattern of scenarios that lead to financial abuse.  It may be happening to you, and you may not be aware. It may be happening to a friend, and they may not be aware. Or you may be like Joan, who is not quite sure anymore.

Many of us live in small communities, where we are fortunate to have trustworthy friends or family close by. As a caring citizen, you can play an important part in helping that friend or family member remain safe and secure from financial abuse. There are many ways financial abuse can occur. That’s why it is important to know and watch for common signs that abuse is happening, or could be happening. Trust your gut! If you feel uncomfortable, or sense that someone else does, they may be experiencing financial abuse.   Click to listen highlighted text! Many of us live in small communities, where we are fortunate to have trustworthy friends or family close by. As a caring citizen, you can play an important part in helping that friend or family member remain safe and secure from financial abuse. There are many ways financial abuse can occur. That’s why it is important to know and watch for common signs that abuse is happening, or could be happening. Trust your gut! If you feel uncomfortable, or sense that someone else does, they may be experiencing financial abuse.

Learn more about: Checklist: Am I At Risk Of Being Financially Abused? | Checklist: Is Someone I Know Being Financially Abused?

7.4 Giving & Receiving Help
Pierre’s son has been using his authority as Pierre’s appointed power of attorney to make financial decisions which are not in line with Pierre’s wishes and desires. It started with his son taking extra money out of his savings account, and now has escalated to him cashing in on some of Pierre’s life insurance policies, and selling off some of the antique furniture he had stored away to give his other children. Pierre has chosen to ignore or “put up” with his sons behaviour because he thought it would go away. He feels responsible for his son’s behaviour, after all he did raise him.   Click to listen highlighted text! Pierre’s son has been using his authority as Pierre’s appointed power of attorney to make financial decisions which are not in line with Pierre’s wishes and desires. It started with his son taking extra money out of his savings account, and now has escalated to him cashing in on some of Pierre’s life insurance policies, and selling off some of the antique furniture he had stored away to give his other children. Pierre has chosen to ignore or “put up” with his sons behaviour because he thought it would go away. He feels responsible for his son’s behaviour, after all he did raise him.

If you think financial abuse may be happening to you, or to someone you know, take action right away! As in the case of Pierre, ignoring it will not make it go away. Asking for help is always the first step.   Click to listen highlighted text! If you think financial abuse may be happening to you, or to someone you know, take action right away! As in the case of Pierre, ignoring it will not make it go away. Asking for help is always the first step.

A financial abuser may try to make you feel responsible for what is happening. Remember, it is never your fault! Abuse under no circumstance is acceptable. If the financial abuser is a family member it can be very difficult to “call them out” as you may be scared of the consequences. They may stop helping you, caring for you, or end their relationship with you altogether. Although these feelings are understandable, it is important that you ask for help if you want the abuse to stop!   Click to listen highlighted text! A financial abuser may try to make you feel responsible for what is happening. Remember, it is never your fault! Abuse under no circumstance is acceptable. If the financial abuser is a family member it can be very difficult to “call them out” as you may be scared of the consequences. They may stop helping you, caring for you, or end their relationship with you altogether. Although these feelings are understandable, it is important that you ask for help if you want the abuse to stop!

We all know someone who is experiencing financial abuse within a family relationship, and refuses to report it. This usually means the abuse continues to happen and gets worse, sometimes even developing into verbal abuse, physical abuse or neglect. It is very important to use the resources around you that can help.   Click to listen highlighted text! We all know someone who is experiencing financial abuse within a family relationship, and refuses to report it. This usually means the abuse continues to happen and gets worse, sometimes even developing into verbal abuse, physical abuse or neglect. It is very important to use the resources around you that can help.

Learn more about: Steps To Take If You Think You Have Been Financially Abused | What To Do If You Think Someone Is Being Financially Abused